I?ve been waiting, along with a bit more than 500 other people, for a couple hours for a live streaming video, for self-improvement. ?A recording we can watch in the making.
Some problem is keeping it from streaming, or really doing anything. ?It?s a real test of my attitude, especially as it gets closer and closer to a bedtime I?m trying to meet as part of my ?take care of me? plan (another area of self improvement).? It?s a test, too, because it seems that the very young (to me, anyway) people who?s faces I would be seeing and whose voices I would be hearing are people who for all the world seem to never have to consider a bedtime or being too tired to think or too care.
I?m ragging on myself extra for all the times I felt free to be callous and inconsiderate of those older than I or feebler than I and acknowledging how natural it is (sadly) to behave so?uncaring,? so inconsiderately.? Obviously, this is all my perspective.? Many of the rest of those waiting would chorus (at least in their minds) ?don?t be like the wussies?.
And so, I look about myself for tell-tale signs of being like the wussies. ?I have never in ?all my born days? thought to myself ?wussy are I?. ?Except in reference to getting old. ?My father, who never used such terms and likely picked it up from another old guy, shocked me by saying, ?getting old is not for wussies!? ?My father was thirty-five years older than I and I found it ?convenient? to not understand for many years.
I sure have! ?And I?ll bet I?m not the only one. ?(If ever I have wanted to gig any of you read and run readers into leaving a comment, it would be now. ?Please consider a conversation with me. ?You can trash mouth me if you want and disagree or, hallelujah, you could befriend me and talk with me. ?I will respond to comments. ?Consider it your self improvement!
When I say I have (found it?convenient?to overlook self improvement), I can go a long way back with how delusional I can be. ?I remember our teacher in third grade telling us about speed reading one day. ?This would have been in the last year or two of the fifties and I?m pretty sure speed reading was quite the new concept. ?I have always loved reading (and, on occasion found it to be the major ?thing? I could do in my life.
As she talked on she told us someone would be coming to the school and into the classroom to test how fast we read and then we could decide if we wanted to take some training in it. ?I remember I had the temerity to say we didn?t need it. ??Why?, she asked patiently as only some teachers can. ??I already read very fast and I?m sure most of the class does, too.? ?You will have guessed correctly by now that it turns out I was one of the slowest readers in the class.
I think that may well be one of only two or three memories I have of third grade. ?Even now, the word ?smug? comes to mind when I think of my attitude. ??Smug? and wrong. ??Smug? and incorrect. ??Smug? and off track. ?I?ve actually been that way more than once. ?It doesn?t feel good to me. ?That hasn?t stopped it. ?A major area for self-improvement!
Let?s see.? Or, maybe here.? Or, how about this?? (There?s two more that follow that on the same subject.)? Self-Improvement are I, or at least I need to be, and always have.
In a very excellent article at Zen Habits, you will read a great statement serving as a common denominator of almost all of us:? ?It?s the most common thing in the world (besides bacteria) ? the honest and fervent desire for self-improvement,? . . . .
So, now do you understand what I really fight against?? I have a consuming and insatiable desire for self-improvement.? Who wants to be a ?wussie??
I would so love to know I am not alone.? I?d like dialogue more than anything.? Do you need self-improvement?? Is there an end in sight for those who do?? Do you have any lurking third or forth grade stories still making an effort to get you to admit something?
Here?s a good question.? Have you ever really let someone down that you love because you saw yourself already improved in an area where you still need to make that improvement?? Let me hear from you.? I?ll definitely comment you back.? Perhaps there?s some way we can self-improve together!
Source: http://www.empowernetwork.com/anacarin/blog/self-improvement-is-a-real-test-of-my-attitude/
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